What's For Dinner?
by konanangelofrain
Summary: The Espadas are trying to think of something for dinner. Sorry, it's lame. DX Might have some language.
1. Stark YOU IMBECILE!

**Hello! This is my first Espada story! Some of the characters may not act like there true selves! But this is how I picture them acting like, Off-set and stuff! ENJOY!**

In Hueco Mundo...

"Hello My Dear Espadas" Aizen said entering the throne room with Gin and Tosen at his sides.

"Man, Szayel is touching me!" Zommari yelled.

"I am not! I'm observing your leg..." Szayel said in defense.

"Man, don't frou." Zommari said looking off into the distance.

"He did it again!" Szayel squealed. "He called me Frou~"

"Uh, that's cause your clearly gay Szayel.." Grimmjow said rolling his eyes.

"I am not!" Szayel stated. "And being in love with myself doesn't count!" He said pointing a finger at Yammy, who was just about to open his mouth to state his opinion.

"Another day.." Aizen sighed sitting in his chair.

"Would you quit batting your eyes at me?" Nnoitra sneered looking at Szayel.

"I can look at you if I want to." Szayel said blinking continuously at Nnoitra.

"Man, don't frou.." Zommari whispered.

"I heard that!" Szayel stood up pointing a accusing finger at Zommari.

"You was supposed to hear it." Zommari said in a higher tone then usual.

"Are you all done?" Aizen said glaring at them.

They shut there mouths and begin listening to what Aizen had to say.

"Now, what are we going to have for dinner tonight? Opinions? Starting with Yammy."

"Uh, I don't know.. Why do you always asked me the hardest questions?"

"Oh Yammy... Stark??" Aizen said looking over to the sleeping Espada.

"Stark..."

"I got this Lord Aizen!" Said a green haired girl.

"Ah, Lilynette.." Aizen said with a smile.

"Stark!" She yelled in his ear shoving her fist down his throat. The Espadas gasped like the people on television, you know the real dramatic one, yeah, that one.

"Ah! Lily! What do you want? Let me sleep.." Stark protested falling back to sleep.

"If you do not awaken right now Coyote Stark I shall play the banjo every night till dawn in your room so you shall never sleep again." Aizen said in a stressed tone.

Stark's eyes shot open and he sat up straight for the first time in the throne room.

"Very good... Now, tell me your opinion.." Aizen said in a relaxed tone.

"On what?" Stark yawned.

"Dinner.." Aizen said glaring slightly.

"Yeah.." Stark nodded

"....." Aizen's face when blank

"What are we having for dinner?" Stark said with the most serious expression known to man.

In Aizen's mind right now he was ripping out his own hair, but because of his position as leader he had to stay cool.

"That's what were discussing Stark.." Aizen said in his. "Trying to be calm but really wanna kick your ass" tone.

"Oh, that explains why you just randomly said "Dinner.. Hah, for a second I thought you were just crazy.."

Aizen was trying to be as calm as possible. Could he keep it up? Or was Stark doomed?

**It's not as good as I wanted it to be, but I hope it took away some of that boredom stored away! XD THANKS FOR READING!**


	2. Slow Roasted Szayel With A Side Of Tesla

**The is the second chapter! I hope you like it!**

Aizen buried his face in his hands.

"Stark, Lord Aizen wants your opinion... stop being foolish." Said Harribel, she could feel the annoyance Lord Aizen felt.

"On?" Stark asked nonchalantly.

"DINNER! STARK! DINNER!" Yelled Grimmjow.

"Oh, let's go out to eat.. cooking is a drag..." Stark said falling asleep.

"Who does he think he is?" Baraggan said folding his arms. "See, Boss? This is why you should make me number one."

"Psh, yeah right! If he let's anyone take Stark's place it will be me!" Yammy said standing to his feet.

"Oh, Yammy.. your above Stark.." Ulquiorra said sighing.

"I know, I've always been taller then Stark." Yammy said sitting back down.

"Oh Yammy..."

"Ahem, moving on.." Aizen said turning his head toward Baraggan's direction.

"What?" Baraggan said unfolding his arms.

"Your opinion?" Aizen said sighing deeply.

"Right, Boss!" Baraggan said folding his arms and nodding his head. "We should have my Fraccion cook, they cook for me all the time and I deserve nothing but the best!"

Imagining Baraggan's Fraccion...

"Uh, Charlotte, where's the old man chow?" Vega said panicking.

"I have it right here! His Majesty loves this stuff, and this is his favorite kind! Oatmeal!" Charlotte said with a cheerful smile.

"Hurray!" The whole Fraccion cheered.

Back to the meeting...

"Uh, we'll consider..." Aizen said rubbing his temples. "Next, Harribel."

"I don't care as long as it's edible and tastes satisfying.." Harribel said turning her gaze else where.

"Ulquiorra?" Aizen said looking his direction.

"Perhaps something casual... " Ulquiorra said

"Such as?" Aizen said.

"Steak... sounds good..." Ulquiorra said slightly drooling until Aizen snapped him back to reality.

"Have you tasted this before?"

"Uh, no..." Ulquiorra said with a frown. "I've been watching too many TV commercials... forgive me."

"I knew we should have got him the glow in the dark stars instead." Whispered Gin to Tosen.

"It is considered.." Aizen said with a smile. "And your opinion Nnoitra?"

"Hah, I say we have pork! TESLA!" Nnoitra said laughing like a Maniac.

"We're not eating Tesla.." Aizen said trying to hold back his gag,

"Can we slow roast Szayel?" Nnoitra said with a shrug.

"Eck!?" Szayel said putting a hand to his chest. "No! I refuse!"

"What! We're not gonna eat you! I just thought it would be funny to see your slowly spinning on a stick, and we'd play some epic music along with it... like.. REQUIEUM FOR A DREAM!" Nnoitra said standing to his feet.

Imagining....

Requiem For A Dream playing while Szayel is spinning on a stick over a fire. Szayel is screaming but the music out drowns his screams.

Back to the meeting...

"Lord Aizen!" Szayel screams

Nnoitra laughs and a couple of the other members begin chuckling.

"It's not funny!" Szayel snapped at them.

Aizen rubbed his temples, stressed. Why was his life so hard?

**The title goes basically with the ending! XD I can just imagine Nnoitra saying the title in my head! XD**


	3. Who dealt it? NO MEXICAN FOR YOU!

"We are not eating Szayel.." Aizen said giving Nnoitra a glare.

"Besides we don't even know where he's been... right Sosuke?" Gin said

Aizen sighs deeply then turns his head toward Grimmjow. "I trust you have already thought of a idea?"

"Uh.. not exactly.." Grimmjow said looking down. "Though.. um, what about Mexican?"

"We're gonna eat the Mexicans!!?" Yammy yelled.

"No you idiot! I'm talking about Mexican food!" Grimmjow yelled back.

"They don't have enough money to buy us food!" Yammy barked back.

Aizen's eyes shot open-wide and the dangling hair stuck up in the air. "YOU IDIOTS!! IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO THINK OF SOMETHING TO EAT!! IN A SECOND I'M JUST GONNA MAKE YOU ALL EAT DIRT!!! AND HAVE FINE DINING FOR MYSELF!! PUT THE FRAGMENTS OF BRAIN YOU HAVE TOGETHER AND THINK OF SOMETHING!!!"

The whole room went silent. Then a silent fart could be heard.

"Whew!!" Nnoitra said holding his nose. "Someone let the beast out!"

"Man it was not me, mines are louder and more aggressive." Zommari said

Everyone looked at him with blank looks.

"Too much information.." Harribel said. "And I didn't do it."

"Well, I say whoever smelt it dealt it." Szayel said folding his arms sticking a tongue out at Nnoitra.

"Man I smell it coming from your direction.." Zommari said snickering.

"Wha-? What are you talking about it's clearly coming from acrossed the table!" Szayel said looking guilty and embrassed.

"Szayel did it, he's constantly letting out those small ones while people talk." Ulquiorra said.

Szayel's whole face turned red.

"I DO NOT!!" He screamed.

"And I always thought that was me I was smelling.." Baraggan said

"Sosuke, I think the last thing Szayel needs is Mexican.." Gin said snickering.

"IT WASN'T ME I TELL YOU!" Szayel said standing up and letting another one slip from the tension.

"And that one came from Baraggans beard right?" Grimmjow said smirking.

"That was in my face!!!" Baraggan said standing up and knocking Szayel down. "Keep your butt out of my face!!"

"Well, Sosuke..?" Tosen said looking at Aizen's chair who was currently missing.

Where did Aizen go? Was he just getting away from the fumes Szayel let loose? Or was he tired of his "Dear" Espadas? Find out next time!!


End file.
